← Back to Articles

How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self - Practical Pattern Work (2021)

How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self cover photo

Introduction

How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera arrived amid a tidal wave of interest in Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books. LePera, who built a large following as "The Holistic Psychologist" on social media and podcast platforms, published this title in 2021 with a powerful marketing push that landed the book on bestseller lists and in many people's home libraries. I picked up a copy for my commute and to see how a wildly popular online voice would translate to a full-length manual for healing.

As someone who reads widely in Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books, I approached this with skepticism and curiosity. LePera promises a do-it-yourself route to recognizing patterns, healing from past wounds, and creating a new self. The promise is appealing, but the delivery feels uneven; the book trades depth for accessibility in ways that, for me, undercut its usefulness.

Plot Summary

This is not a narrative in the fiction sense, but the book unfolds like a staged program. LePera frames the work in three broad movements: awareness, practice, and integration. She begins by asking readers to map family patterns and personal triggers, moves into daily practices and somatic exercises, and then suggests relational and lifestyle shifts meant to sustain change. The structure is straightforward: reflection prompts, explanatory chapters, and action-oriented exercises peppered throughout.

I found one vivid moment that lingered: a guided exercise where she asks the reader to trace a "pattern line" between childhood messages and current behaviors. It stuck because it forced a concrete leap from abstraction to a single, visible thread connecting a memory to a repeating habit. That kind of moment shows why Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books can be powerful when they make theory actionable.

Overall, the direction is clear and the intention is earnest, but the book often feels like a series of social-media-sized insights expanded into full chapters. For readers wanting a step-by-step therapeutic curriculum, the outline might feel comforting; for those seeking depth, it will likely frustrate.

Writing Style and Tone

LePera writes in a chatty, direct voice that clearly aims to be accessible. The language is simple, the pacing brisk, and each chapter includes prompts and worksheets to encourage participation. I found the tone friendly and encouraging at first, which helps readers feel seen - a useful quality in Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books.

But I struggled with the mix of professional authority and Instagram-friendly aphorisms. At times the prose reads like an extended caption: pithy, memorable, and a little thin. LePera paraphrases the book's central call - recognize your patterns - repeatedly, and that repetition feels both like a rallying cry and a shortcut for argument. She writes that "recognize your patterns" is the first step toward intentional healing, a line that encapsulates the book's heart but also its limits.

There were moments I appreciated, yet overall I found the voice uneven: earnest clinical-sounding claims beside sweeping lifestyle suggestions. A light aside: if this were a podcast episode, it would be a high-performing one, but stretched to 300-plus pages it often runs out of steam.

Characters

Although this is a non-fiction book, the "characters" are the personas that LePera builds: the wounded child, the reactive adult, the witness self, and the emerging healer. These archetypes are useful shorthand for the reader, and I found that mapping my own reactions onto them made some of the exercises immediately practical.

I struggled with the implied universality of these roles. The adult-who-reacts-to-abandonment or the child-who-needs-validation are depicted in broad strokes, which can help readers feel recognized but can also flatten the complexity of real lives. I found myself wanting more nuance; real people rarely fit neatly into compact archetypes, and for a reader familiar with deeper psychological work the simplifications can feel frustrating.

LePera does include case vignettes and example dialogues to illustrate how one might show up differently in relationships. I found one vignette - a home-based confrontation turned into a moment of curiosity rather than blame - memorable because it showed how a small shift in approach can change an interaction. However, the characters in these scenes often serve the book's lesson rather than living as fully rounded people.

Themes and Ideas

Central themes include pattern recognition, embodiment, self-responsibility, and relational repair. LePera emphasizes the somatic side of healing, urging readers to notice bodily signals as a route to understanding triggers. I found this emphasis valuable; integrating mind and body is one of the stronger through-lines in contemporary Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books.

Another recurring idea is that healing is a series of practices rather than one-off insights. LePera encourages daily rituals, boundary-setting, and reflective journaling as cumulative acts. I found some of these exercises genuinely useful in my own reading routine - small, repeatable practices that slot into a busy life.

Yet the book leans heavily on personal empowerment language that sometimes glosses systemic realities. There is a moral thread suggesting that individual work can overcome many relational and cultural patterns, and I found that framing too tidy. A paraphrase from her guidance sums it up: notice the pattern, meet it with curiosity, and do the work. That works as a mantra, but it also short-circuits longer discussions about access, privilege, and structural trauma that often show up in more critical Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books.

Weaknesses

My issues with the book are significant. First, the blend of clinical terminology with social-media brevity often produces oversimplification. I struggled with chapters that made confident therapeutic claims without the depth or references I expect from a book claiming to guide healing.

Second, there is a repetitive quality: core concepts repeat in slightly reworded forms across chapters, which made parts of the middle feel padded. For someone who has read widely in Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books, those repetitions are more tiring than clarifying.

Third, the book occasionally slips into a one-size-fits-all tone. I found this limiting because trauma and healing are highly individual, and the strategies suggested sometimes lack contingencies for people with different socioeconomic or cultural contexts. Finally, some exercises are vaguely framed and could benefit from clearer boundaries and safety considerations; encouraging readers to excavate trauma without strong guidance can be risky.

Strengths

Despite my reservations, the book does have merits. LePera's approachable voice makes the material inviting, and her emphasis on embodied practice is a welcome corrective to purely cognitive self-help. I found several small exercises that translated well into daily routines, which is one reason many readers in the Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books category have praised her work.

The layout with prompts and worksheets makes the book interactive rather than purely theoretical, and that practical slant will help readers who like workbook-style guides. I also appreciated moments of compassion in the writing; LePera genuinely wants readers to feel capable of change, and that tone is not merely performative.

For someone new to self-inquiry, these strengths can be meaningful. The book's accessibility is its chief asset, particularly for readers who prefer actionable checklists over dense academic exposition.

Reader Reactions

LePera's audience is passionate, which I saw reflected in online reactions and in book-club conversations. Some readers report life-changing gains after applying the exercises, which I respect. I found those testimonials instructive about how the book lands: for some, the accessible tone is exactly what makes transformation possible.

Conversely, I encountered readers who felt let down by the lack of clinical rigor. That split reaction matches my own experience. I felt engaged at moments and unconvinced at others, and I suspect readers' background in psychology or therapy will strongly determine whether they love or resent the book's approach.

Who Should Read It

If you are new to Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books and want a gentle, action-oriented introduction to self-awareness and somatic practice, this book can be a friendly starting point. I would recommend it to readers who enjoy workbook-style formats, daily prompts, and accessible language. If your reading routine includes short, practical titles like James Clear's Atomic Habits or Brené Brown's Daring Greatly, you might find useful overlaps in tone and approach.

However, if you are looking for deep clinical guidance, rigorous citations, or nuanced cultural critique, this is not your best pick. I compared parts of this book to an extended Instagram thread that was expanded into chapters; for some that expands access, for others it dilutes depth. I found it most useful as a supplement to therapy or to more research-driven Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books rather than as a standalone cure-all.

Conclusion

As a long-time consumer of Non Fiction and Self Improvement Books, I respect what Dr. Nicole LePera set out to do: make psychological ideas approachable and give readers practical rituals to try. Yet I left the book frustrated. The format favors accessibility over depth, the advice sometimes risks oversimplifying complex issues, and important exercises are presented without the safeguards or nuance that responsible guidance demands.

I found genuine value in a handful of the practical tools, but overall the book felt uneven and less rigorous than I expected from someone with LePera's platform. For readers seeking a first step into self-inquiry, it may serve as a useful primer. For those looking for thorough therapeutic direction or scholarship, look elsewhere.

Rating: 1.5/10